Why We Fall for 'Candles in the WInd'

When I was a boy I fell in love with Marilyn Monroe.

https://www.pinterest.nz/pin/723883340108702168/

I dare say I was not alone.

Goodbye, Norma Jeane
From the young man in the twenty second row
Who sees you as something more than sexual
More than just our Marilyn Monroe (Elton John & Bernie Taupin)

However, let’s face it I, and millions like me, fell in love with the idea of Marilyn Monroe. Norma Jeane herself would probably have staked me out on an anthill and laughed mercilessly at my pain. Perhaps not.

The whole "rescue fantasy" idea has been around since Freud coined the phrase in 1910.  Originally, it was all about therapists or politicians wanting to swoop in and save "fallen women." But now, it's more about what therapists are secretly or not-so-secretly hoping for with their patients, especially in child analysis or therapy.

But when it comes to young men or women falling for fallen angels like Marilyn Monroe, the rescue fantasy is a psychological dance. People are drawn to what they see as vulnerability or someone who needs saving. It's like they want to be the hero.

This rescue fantasy is a mix of different desires and defenses. On one hand, there's real empathy and a genuine wish to help out. On the flip side, it could be a way for these guys to deal with their own issues without facing them head-on. Plus there may be a sexual component to wanting to be an object of gratitude.

Traditionally, too, society and culture have played a big role. There's this idealisation of certain types, like the fallen angel, that influences who we crush on and why.

We've got to dig into how society's expectations and cultural stories feed into these rescue fantasies. Plus, understanding the psychology of projection, idealisation, and transference gives us a peek into why we're so drawn to certain ‘damaged’ people.

The rescue fantasy idea has come a long way since Freud. It's not just about saving "fallen women" anymore; it's about therapists and their aims with patients or emotionally confused people wanting to be the salvation fallen angels like Marilyn Monroe, it's this whole mix of emotions, society's influence, and our own mental gymnastics.