Why You Keep Falling for the Wrong People

Why are we afflicted with Temporary Insanity? Why do some people fall in love at the drop of a hat? They are under the spell of The Halo Effect and The Affect Heuristic. The Halo effect is a cognitive bias in which our positive perception of one attribute or quality of a person, object, or idea influences our overall impression, leading us to see them in a more favourable light.

When combined with the Affect Heuristic, our emotional responses can be amplified by the Halo effect. This can make us perceive fantasies or idealized situations as real because we focus on the positive aspects and emotions associated with them, neglecting critical analysis or scepticism.

You can pass a florist a thousand times and gaze in wonder at the guy or gal waving a bouquet to advertise their wares. Then one day, you realise you are pining for someone ‘special’ and the notion of buying flowers is not only natural it’s almost an obsession. A Walk on the beach? Yesterday it was boring, but no, suddenly that is an impulse you cannot resist.

 That’s when you are caught up in what legally might be defined as ‘Temporary Insanity’. But we prefer to call it ‘Love’. There is not empirical evidence, quite often that the one you wish to spend your hard-earned cash on is even aware of your intense longings. You are under the spell of the Affect Heuristic.

History is replete with tales of passion and obsession abound, fueled by the heady elixir of love needing it’s outlet. The Affect Heuristic is a cognitive bias where people rely on their emotions and feelings, rather than rational analysis, to make quick judgments and decisions. It involves using emotional responses as a mental shortcut to assess the desirability or risk of a particular situation or choice. Consider the ill-fated love affair of Queen Cleopatra and Roman General Mark Antony. The Affect Heuristic led them to believe that their love could conquer empires/ Their passion blinded them to the perilous political intrigues of the time. This ultimately led to their downfall, and the Roman Empire bore witness to their demise.

Lord Byron was a serial victim, his amorous escapades knew no bounds. His intense infatuation with the alluring Lady Caroline Lamb showcased the affective bias at its most extreme. Byron's charisma ensnared Lamb, who fell headlong into a maelstrom of destructive passion. Their affair left scars on both their lives, underscoring the need for outside counsel to temper such ardent affections.

Consider King Henry VIII of England and Anne Boleyn. The king's fervour for Anne drove him to challenge the very foundations of the Catholic Church, resulting in the English Reformation. The Affect Heuristic swayed him into believing that their love could rewrite history, but the consequences of his actions were far-reaching and incalculable.

In these tales of passion and obsession, the Affect Heuristic emerges as a formidable force, distorting perceptions of romance. The need for outside influence, be it in the form of trusted advisors or societal norms, is paramount in safeguarding you from the perils of unchecked love. As George Orwell (no stranger to the Affect Heuristic) might have cautioned, the intoxicating allure of passion should not blind us to the sobering reality of its consequences.

But, I know. I'm wasting my time talking to a temporarily  insane person!