The Halo Effect - Why we Get 'The Hots' 2 #lifecoaching#success#motivation#personaldevelopment
Halo effect, error in reasoning in which an impression formed from a single trait or characteristic is allowed to influence multiple judgments or ratings of unrelated factors. (https://www.britannica.com/science/halo-effect)
Below Your 'Circle of Madness'
If I were to posit the actual year that Life
coaching became a necessary career, I’d go with 1920.
You see, that was when people started going
around falling madly in love with complete strangers. We know this because that
was when Edward Thorndike invented ‘The Halo Effect’.
Before that, I suppose falling in love with
random people just wasn’t a thing. Mind you, Shakespeare did suspect its
existence:
And
when love speaks, the voice of all the gods
Make
heaven drowsy with the harmony.”
Love's Labours Lost: Act 4, scene 3
But actual attraction as we know it aka the "Halo Effect" was coined by psychologist Edward Thorndike in 1920 when he noted a cognitive bias where the overall impression of a person influences how one feels and thinks about them in totally unrelated areas.
Sometimes a little bit obsessively.
Essentially, we are more likely to have a positive opinion of them in general, overlooking or downplaying any negative qualities they may have.
So if a person is physically
attractive, we may assume they also possess other positive traits, such as
intelligence or kindness. Their jokes are wittier, the way they hold their
heads a little more enticing… Similarly, if someone is skilled in a particular
area, we might extend that positive perception to other unrelated areas.
If you find someone physically attractive, you may unconsciously
assume that the person possesses other positive qualities, such as
intelligence, kindness, or a good sense of humour. The kind of conversational qualities
that prove they never have a bad mood and would never say a cross word to you. You
might assume that the attractive person is also intelligent, interesting, or
caring without having any evidence.
Your motivation for getting up in the morning is to be near them.
Once the Halo Effect takes hold, we be more may likely to ascribe positive
behaviours and characteristics of the person while overlooking or downplaying
negative aspects. This is known as confirmation bias. The Halo Effect may lead you
to ignore or minimise any ‘red flags’ or negative qualities you observe in the
person. They might give the attractive person the benefit of the doubt or
rationalise their problematic behaviour. Heck, those red flags may even make them seem
even more attractive!
If the initial attraction is strong enough, you might project your
desire for a long-term, fulfilling relationship onto the person you find
attractive, assuming that he or she an ideal match without fully understanding
their compatibility.
To avoid falling prey to the Halo Effect in the context of seeking lust or love, it's
crucial to be mindful of these traps.
Don't fall for the Halo Effect!
Take
the time to get to know a person beyond their physical appearance and be aware
of any assumptions or projections.
Build
a connection based on shared values, interests, and genuine compatibility for
more meaningful and lasting relationships.
It's
essential to balance physical attraction with a deeper understanding of the
person's character and values and that takes time personal development and hard
work.
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