On The Tyranny of a Calling or: "Few people are as unhappy as those with a talent no one cares about" (John Gray)

 In 'The Art of the Good Life' Rolf Dobelli follows up the masterful collection of essays he compiled in 'The Art of Thinking Clearly'.



Dobelli discusses something which may appear at first glance to be kryptonite to the personal development and life coaching industry when he subtitles chapter 16: 'Do What You Can, Not What You Think You Can Do'.

Dobelli calmly deconstructs the 'big dream' and the 'calling', 

    "Hence why they pay such close attention to their inner voices - they're hoping to hear the call of         some fulfilling activity."

It's a bit like J.M. Barry when he said 'Every time a child says 'I don't believe in fairies, somewhere, a little fairy dies.'. So to reframe Barry, it's like 'Everytime a potential client says I don't believe in big dreams, some where a life coach falls out of the sky.'

But that's only true if said life coach feels it is his or her job to harvest the potential to have unfounded dreams and ambitions and profit from chicanery. The job of a life coach is not to rip people off, by exploiting their vulnerabilities, it is to assist and promote people to achieve their potentials in a structured, supported manner.

The problem is, you have to get peoples' attention, and this involves a certain 'rah-rah-rah' is expected in the process. I've just been working on a brochure to that very end with the obligatory 'Yes! I'd like to unlock my dreams!' type of pitch. However, that is merely the hook. Once a person sits with me for a free life coaching session, they may find that the real work is only just beginning. This is where Dobelli's statement 'Do What You Can, Not What You Think You Can Do'. lurches front and forward like an oil-tanker in a force nine.

Dobelli is humourous and cutting and well, I like this guy.

    'People claim they had no choice but to do X. ... Hunters and gatherers had no choice. A slave in Egypt had no choice. ... But if somebody in the present tells you his inner voice left him no choice but to dedicate his life to the guitar, you can be reasonably sure he's one sandwich short of a picnic.'

I know, I know, John Lennon's Aunt Mimi said 'The guitar's all right, John, but you'll never make a living from it.'  So that kind of proves the world needs dreamers, and that every dreamer with a guitar will be the next Beatles, right?!? 

Wrong. This is what Dobelli calls Selection Bias  the tendency to only select life's successes as your road-map. Of course you never hear about the 20,000 other 'John Lennons' who never made it, do you?

Ouch! I can practically see a potential life coaches (and guitarists) fall burning from the sky! 


(image above: A life coach falling out of the sky)


Rolf's advice is to ignore those inner voices and focus on putting food on the table. 

I'm going to qualify that. Sometimes you have to make a decision to take a leap of faith. However, as we've previously discussed in the 'uninformed optimism' chart, we have to also be aware that many people are ill-equipped to do this.

It doesn't make it an impossibility, but it does mean it is a skill set that must be cultivated. 

Personal development is not the same as 'dreaming'. 

It's a much more hard-headed process, which is where 'real' life coaches come in.  A life coach offers motivation, success and personal development as a structured, accountable process. Not as 'pie in the sky'. If he or she does offer this, seek another option, is my advice.

People who are afraid of getting duped by life coaches are the least likely to use them. Not because they are wiser or less gullible, but because they have on some level, they have declared to themselves that they are unwilling to put in the work. As someone once said:

'Dreams are free'.


#lifecoach # personaldevelopment # Life coaching # motivation # success

https://baseerlearning.wordpress.com/2011/10/26/35/

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